Vegetable, animal, mineral

On behalf of JB...

Meanwhile, consider this aquatic marvel

and this expanding stone

trove

A few weeks after a party we had a while ago, when I was trying to find my shoe polish in a cupboard under the sink, I noticed someone had stashed a bottle of Lucozade there. The seal was broken, but it was full to the brim. I unscrewed the cap only to be surprised by the powerful whiff of stale urine. Who did it, and why, I wondered. Was the queue for the loo too long? If not the loo, what other place did they find in our small and very much thronged flat to micturate in privacy? I was intrigued by the peculiarly respectful tidiness of this act (had their bladder really contained exactly 500ml of urine at that time? If there was an excess, where did it go?), and revolted by finding my cupboard polluted in this way... Did they do it in the kitchen, then stash it, or was it some uninvited (let's hope as much) guest who gets a kick from stowing ready-filled plastic bottles of urine in a stranger's cupboard?

revision

Examinations loom. Books have acumulated to teetering point about me, threatening to blot out the sun, or at least any remaining tea mug space on the desk. Piles of files, and files of piles of bits of paper... scribbled notes on HLA typing for renal transplant, the differentials of hypoparathyroidism (pseudo and psuedopsuedo, if you were wondering), autoantibody associations of different unpleasant diseases etc etc etc etc etc. Comfort: tea; biscuits; running; guitar; TV (NOOO! turn it off!) and this picture of a once-beautiful woman

jon baines

jesus waylays

Last Sunday I was stopped on the street north of HydePark by an African lady, who asked me if i had a church pass. I said no, i didn't, and asked what she was alluding to. She pointed to a minivan behind me, with rainbow stripes and 'Army of Jesus' on the side. It made no sense at all.